I can feel these weights holding me down to this earth.
Physically and mentally. The hate and the gravity.
I want to soar though the clouds, touch the tops of trees and run my hand through the purest of waters. None of these things I can do in this condition.
How do I make these things happen?
If I close my eyes tight enough I can see it.
If I close my thoughts to all things deep enough I can feel it.
If I fall asleep... I experience it.
Sleep. The place I go to be saved. The place I go to be damned.
My mind, nor my body have a say in what goes on in that world.
Only my imagination can pull and push the strings attached to my puppet body.
I can just sit and watch as it moves my mouth and words exit as if I myself spoke them.
My dreams, this realm, mean nothing.
If they did surely all that I know would be dead. All that I love would be gone. I would be alone with the shadow creatures that haunt the deepest parts of my mind searching for the way out.
It is only the way I separate myself from the other people around me.
The others that are just too damn predictable.
Humans truly all seem the same.
Only the so called "freaks" and "odditys" of this world I want to acknowledge.
But others see the difference in me. Others see the strive I have to be outside this box of which everyone is held.
For these people I am thankful. For these people I am able to confide in. For these people give me hope, courage, love. All that I need to be thrown into world when the time comes.
Everyone must be bound. No one's chains are ever undone.
People can dream can they not?
Sadly I'm a dreamer. I don't get much done but see things through a different eye I can do. See things the easier way, see things through a mind of a child.
I dream of being unbound. I want to see the world.
I want to do so much...that I know I shall only do in my dreams.
Is it so bad to hate the way the world is?
Is it so bad to hate the chains we carry on this world?


I got a bit sick of my old journal